me playing pokemon go
*having sex with the lights off*
person: i can’t find the hole
me:
me when a man tries to enter my life
me when a seagull tries to enter my life
I would welcome a seagull into my life faster than any man
Schrödinger’s vaguepost
this is the twitter equivalent of the sound of a gun cocking in an unlit parking garage
The shoulder
the articulation of hubris
God really went nuts, just said “go wild, you funky little monkeys!” and gave us a spheroid joint that can move in all directions and do e v e r y t h i n g !~, except stay in its fucking place when hit by a light breeze
A fucking mess:
“Looks complicated, how does it work?” It doesn’t
big fan of God, but this was a rookie mistake
God: hmm…I’m not sure about this one human joint, can you review it?
Pre-callout Satan: looks great fam 👌
buddy, if anyone misused something it was god misusing their power when they elaborated this hot mess of a joint